• Depression

    What To Do If You Feel Like You’re Slipping Back Into Depression

    So, after yet another string of unfortunate life events, I’ve found myself slipping back into depression for the first time in months. Not my usual I’m-sad-but-I-can-deal-with-it depression, but the kind of persistent, melancholic hopelessness that has me fashioning something as harmful as a pencil shaving into a weapon for my demise. The old me would wallow in it. She would lie in bed for hours and ruminate about her loneliness, her emptiness and her childhood traumas. She would obsess about her mounting debt and her life-limiting disabilities. The time she said hi to someone and they ignored her. Cue a full-blown depression relapse. Luckily, that was the old me. The…

  • Anxiety

    10 Self-Soothing Activities For Anxiety

    I am always on the lookout for the best self-soothing activities for anxiety. I’ve suffered from anxiety (as well as depression and BPD) for over a decade, so I know just how difficult intense emotions can be to handle. In my turbulent teens and early twenties, I tried everything I could to calm my out-of-control anxiety, from substance abuse to total isolation. Of course, my anxiety only got 10x worse. I would suffer from debilitating panic attacks that would leave me mentally-exhausted and completely vulnerable to the vicious anxiety cycle. Read: Social Anxiety and Alcohol – A Dangerous Cocktail I thought it would take some divine, complex concoction to manage…

  • BPD

    Healing From Childhood Trauma

    Healing from childhood trauma is a complex, personal process that often requires professional therapy. Please always seek professional advice. For my full disclaimer and some awesome mental health resources, click here. When you’ve experienced trauma as a child, it often feels like a wound that won’t heal despite how many times it scabs over. It is vulnerable to the slightest touch – a face, a smell, a song on the radio. All it takes is a nick for the wound to burst open, as fresh as it was all those years ago. Our natural instincts tell us that if we leave it alone it will heal autonomously. Life dictates that…

  • Self-Care

    40 Things To Do When You’re Bored At Night

    If you are a chronic insomniac like me, finding new things to do when you’re bored at night becomes an almighty chore. There’s only so much Friends you can binge before Ross’s voice becomes intolerable. You’re all out of midnight snacks and scrolling through social media is so mind-numbingly boring that even your best friend’s posts start to irritate you eventually (seriously, another picture of your dinner?) Maybe you’re stressed about a job interview or exam. Maybe you suffer from depression and your brain is convinced that replaying all of your past mistakes is far more productive than a good night’s sleep. Maybe anxiety has you worrying inconsequentially about all…

  • Depression

    Things I Learnt From My First Mental Breakdown

    It probably doesn’t surprise you to know that I, the Queen of Self-Destructive Behaviours and Bad Decisions, have had my fair share of mental breakdowns. My first mental breakdown happened when I was 14 years old. It wasn’t the worst breakdown I’ve had by far, but it’s the one that pains me the most when I think about it. My Story I remember it as clear as day: me and my best friend walking through our high school gates, laughing and bitching about some trivial teenage drama. My depression was forcibly hidden underneath my over-enthusiastic engagement in the conversation, as was my budding codependency issues, intensely fluctuating mood swings and…

  • BPD

    BPD and Long-Distance Relationships – Can They Work?

    BPD and long-distance relationships are not the most, erm, compatible combination. I happened to find this out the hard way, when a relatively stable, years-long relationship of mine went down in flames after merely ONE month of long-distance. “But, all of your old relationships went down in flames,” I hear you accuse. Touché. But this LDR actually became the catalyst for my BPD diagnosis. Across blogs and forums, people with BPD communicate their struggle with long-distance relationships. Stina Marie describes it as ‘agony’. Laura Snelling says it is “extremely difficult and exhausting” – not only for herself, but for the person she’s with. Why is BPD so destructive to long-distance…

  • Self-Care

    How To Become More Emotionally Self-Aware

    I used to have the emotional self-awareness of a faulty kettle. In my late teens and early twenties, I was a slave to BPD’s unstable, impulsive emotions. I succumbed to the anxiety and believed every word it said, my panic attacks capable of overwhelming me in an instant. I would also ruminate for hours on end, thinking myself into deep depressive episodes with zero restraint. Because I wasn’t emotionally self-aware, my emotions kind of just happened to me and I would react to them with intensity. When you lack self-awareness, you lack the ability to identify things like triggers and bad habits. You struggle with emotional control and find yourself…

  • Self-Care

    Beautiful Mental Health Quotes From Literature

    If you’re a bookworm like me or love a meaningful mental health quote, you’ll love this list of my favourite mental health quotes from literature. I used to be your stereotypical Tumblr-obsessed 16-year-old. I treasured a huge collection of angsty, depression-inducing picture quotes, most of them about giving up on happiness or being unable to drown my demons. Yep, I was your stereotypical emo kid, right down to the floppy side-fringe. I liked those quotes because I could relate to them and in a way they made me feel less alone. However, I was also an impressionable, volatile teenager who would think herself into depression on a daily basis –…

  • Self-Care

    Things To Remember If You’re Feeling Ugly

    There are a million reasons why you might be feeling ugly today. Maybe you recently got cheated on. Maybe you’re scrolling through Instagram and can’t help comparing yourself to that airbrushed model or friend who always looks good. Maybe a new spot on your chin is giving you a low self-esteem day. Or, maybe, you just feel ugly and always have. Girl, I know exactly how you feel. I was a teenage girl with albinism, nystagmus and a severe case of acne. Not to mention the Harry Potter glasses! Yeah, I got bullied mercilessly throughout high-school to the point where I couldn’t look in the mirror without wanting to scrape…

  • Anxiety

    Social Anxiety Challenges To Help You Overcome Your Fears

    So, I had a pretty self-destructive introduction to exposure therapy. I suffer from social anxiety and BPD, which affects my decision-making in some – erm – interesting ways. Like, for example, when I decided that the only way to cure my mentally-and-physically-debilitating social anxiety was to move to the other side of the world and go backpacking in party hostels. It wasn’t the most informed plan of action considering at this point in my life I could barely leave my house without having a panic attack. And yes, it was overwhelming AF and the mental breakdowns were a-plenty – but – and this is a big but – I realised…

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